Tired

Tired of people calling themselves victims instead of going that one step further to help themselves (thus taking focus away from real concerns had by real victims out there)
Tired of passive aggressive control freaks who claim to be only acting out in the best interests of others
Tired of spiders making webs in corners just swept
Tired of hearing the same complaints followed by the same excuses followed by the same inaction
Tired of inaction masquarading as protest
Tired of being the first one to call
Tired of not being able to share the big picture
Tired of really crappy television
Tired of the CBC strike
Tired of all things overpriced
Tired of all things undervalued
Tired of not taking responsibilities
Tired of being tired.

A do do do A Da da da

I'm feeling a bit naughty. This morning I took a bra out of the trash (it was in the washroom garbage can...nothing else in it...it had been placed there because of a broken underwire...ouch!!) and put it on. Laundry has not been done for a while and so, when faced with putting on the bra I had on last night and the one form the trash (loved last night...thank you steenblogen but the bra was too smoky come morning--one of the downsides of having quit nicotine), I had to choose the trashy one (luckily, I own a leatherman which is really a must have to all those who need instant access to underwire twisting pliers). Ok...I had on my garbage bra, now what? Obvious. For Christmas last year, one of my sound techs got me some swag from his band...black underwear that have written on them 'Mall Punks Fuck Off.' Done. I forwent the fuzzy pink bunny socks (an Easter treat? from my mother in law) and found a pair of almost matching blacks and was good to go. Tonight, I will be Steenblogen's date to a pre-do of a do. A pre do do? Wondering what to wear.

Work and Play

So many threads, so little time. Hmmm... I'm beginning to sense a theme here. I haven't posted to this blog very regularly as of late. I have a couple options. I could back date a number of posts and sneak them in with no one being the wiser. This, I fear, would be a bit too duplicitous for my tastes. I could, when I get a moment each day, start draft posts to be worked on and posted later. This, I fear, would lead me to being in a state of constant catch up. I would always be behind. And, if perchance, I were able to get back on track and completely caught up would I really want "I've caught up on all my blog posts...hurrah" to be something that I celebrate? I think not. So, I think I will carry on as I have been. At times prolific. At times dry as desert sand. It's worked so far.

What's been going on with me? Well, two things come immediately to mind. (this isn't true...many many things are coming to mind but, there are two things that I will write about here and now).
A very close friend came to visit. Love her. As a sister and more. (not just cuz she reads this am I writing nice things about her...she really does rock). So, she, another friend and I went to the mall to shop around for clothes. Ok. So she and S are thin. Not gross ewww too thin but instead 'we use our bodies for sporting type purposes and are generally fit' thin. I, on the otherhand, am not thin. This became more evident to me when, in the entire store, the only things that would have a hope in hell of fitting me were wraps and large sized mens' clothing. I have a love hate relationship with my body and its weight. At the moment, it is definitely hate. I don't like the way I feel physically and I certainly am not a fan of my larger sized thighs and waist. This said, I wasn't feeling particularly joyous in the store. Then, as my friend was trying on a lovely pair of black trousers, another woman (larger...like myself) commented 'I'd kill for a body like that.' Hmmm. I looked at this woman. She was shorter than me and a bit plump. Nothing wrong with her. She was wearing clothes that were a bit too small...that never helps. Nothing seems to make me more body conscious than wearing something that doesn't fit comfortably. I also wondered at her statement. Would she really 'kill' for a new body? My friend works out on a daily basis. Hard. She runs, rows, climbs, jumps, swings...she uses her body. I don't do these things. Does this woman? I mean, it's all well and good to want the perfect body/hair/vocabulary/job but, it isn't all luck and genetics. Choices need to be made too. I have been a slug for a bit ... my body is showing the results of this. Perhaps I wouldn't kill to be thinner, but, I think it's perhaps time I started moving a bit more. If it's a bit about choice, I think I'll take some time to choose to focus on body health for a bit.

The second topic is a bit of a rant. J and I work in the same industry and have links with people within the industry. Problems arise when people see us as a unit instead of as separate entities. J will get questions from people about shifts in my space (what their call times are, what the show is, and the like). He responds by saying 'I don't care. I'm not her secretary.' Fair enough. A client wanting my space but used to working with J actually left a message on our home machine about looking into booking my work space. J informed client, again, that they needed to contact the theatre directly. Now, this morning, J tells me that a company that he does free lance work for and that I, on behalf of one of my clients, purchased a service from, wanted the signed copy of a receipt that they had given J to pass on to me. Hell....this particular receipt spent about a month in the car (it never actually made it to my work desk) and, ended up getting tossed. So, J tells me to call them. Sigh. I did but, it would have been easier had they sent the receipt to me directly here at work. I told them that. If it weren't for J, I would have ignored their requests completely. I mean. Business is business. My accounts here at work are properly reconciled. I deal with company receipts at the office...not at home. I don't think they would appreciate it if I called them at home to book equipment. They will fax me a duplicate receipt for me to sign (which I will) and then wanted me to drop it off in person. No, I responded. I'll be putting it in the mail. What is it about snippy people that brings out the uber bitch in me? Ah well. It's only work.

Can I have a copy of the memo please?

Yes...2 posts...one day. I really couldn't resist however. As the world becomes increasingly insane I have to wonder if it's because I didn't get the memo. You know the one? The memo that states clearly why people are hell bent on turning simple situations into complicated ones and how complicated situations are becoming over simplified. I really don't have time right now to go into any details. I'm sure, however, that you will be able to pick from a myriad of examples yourself. Oh well...back to the desk.

Life's Essentials

I love September. I love the crispness of the air in the mornings and evenings. I love the colours just beginning to bloom on leaves. I love being able to wear a sweater and sandals simultaneously. There is an energy that comes with September that is unlike any other time of year. This has to do, in part, with my memories of embarking on a new school year but there is more to it than that. I feel ready for anything. Bring it on. I can take it. I've shaken off the summer sluggishness and am now ready to harvest my potential. This said, I have been finding that my energies are focusing away from writing these days. Just a phase I think. When I actually sit down to do this, I have fun with it. I am, I believe, just enjoying other things more at the moment--making creative dinners, playing football with kids, dancing in the living room, remembering how to run barefoot ... life's essentials.

New Beginnings

This morning, J woke me up with a coffee and went off to work. I got up and began readying the kids for school. The first day of school. Their first day at the new school (they won't actually start until the 14th but, they did transfer to the new building and daycare this morning). ' S' wore a purple cordoroy skirt with flowers on the pockets set off by a light pink long sleeved shirt. 'A' sported new light beige khakis and a turtleneck covered in pictures of construction trucks. Last night, I made their lunches and, this morning I put them into their lunchboxes (Dora and Spiderman) and these, in turn, were put into their knapsacks (Dora and Bob the Builder). This morning, I woke up one day older. Somehow, the kids managed to get in a couple years last night.