No Me for the Wii (for Kate)

Filled with glee
She came home to see
Her lad with a book
Reading A B C's

No more T.V.!
She thought wistfully
As her boy flipped the pages
With quiet intensity.

But then entered hubby
And he was quite merry
He unpacked and set up
What looked like a monstrosity

'My darling wifey,'
He mentioned with revelry
'Your sister dropped off a great game
Will you play with me?'

She stared at the Wii
Asking quite cautiously
'Did you see that your son
Is beginning to read?'

Non plussed was the hubby
As he fussed with the packaging
'The first thing you need to do
Is create a 'me' for your 'Wii';

'A 'me' for a 'Wii'?'
She asked a bit shrilly
'Why would I want to create
A me for a Wii?'

'I have a me for the Wii
Just wait 'til you see
How much fun we'll all have
Interacting with the T.V.'

She noted dejectedly
That her son threw down the A B C's
And seemed transfixed by this gadget
That was being played by his daddy.

'I will not create a new Me'
She stated with unhidden hostility.
'I will not play with this new fangled gizmo
I will not create a new me for the Wii.

Let me speak clearly
So that you can hear me truely.
I have absolutely no interest in playing this game
And I will not be making a me for this Wii.

I must state emphatically
Although I love you dearly
We differ in ways as good couples do
So I will not be making a 'me' for this Wii

Looking dejectedly
Feeling defeat
She watched as her son
Left a book by her feet

But then quite excitedly
He picked up his ABC's
And flipped through the pages
And turned to his mommy.

As time goes on inevitably
The boy and his daddy
Interact and enjoy the games
As they play with their 'me's' and the Wii

But what warms her heart magically
When her son picks up his ABC's
And he finds the warm spot on the couch and asks,
'Mommy will you read with me?'

Portrait of a Girl

My daughter is special. She speaks in terms of hearts and spirits and love. She is intelligent, insightful and wise beyond her years. She is a girl who embraces being a girl. I want her to hold on to that. When I was her age I thought girls were pretty useless. I liked hanging with boys. I understood boys. Girls made no sense to me. When playing games on the school ground -- boys against the girls -- I always played for the boys team. My daughter's love of pink, fashion, teeny bopper television is not part of my own experience but, through her, I am coming to understand not only her but myself.


The other day we watched an episode of 'The Jonas Brothers.' She really wanted to watch it and said she loved it. I am not a fan of the Disney channel or the tweeny pop aesthetic that proliferates its airwaves. Everyone is different though and I love the chance to snuggle with her on the couch. I asked her what it was about the show that she liked. She laughed and was embarrassed. She's young. I wondered if she was already getting caught up in 'crush' land and teen idol worship. (Can't be! I thought. Not yet please? She's not quite 8 years old.) I asked her if she thought the boys were cute. Her answer was immediate and honest. 'No!' She paused and explained. 'I like the colours mommy.' I continued watching. The colours used are bright and vibrant. Each scene has a different palette. It's actually quite cool to watch the show in terms of colour. She pointed out different shades at work and how the character's outfits always seemed to work with the background walls. 'The acting is pretty good too mommy.' Hmmmm. I disagreed with her on that point but noted that it wasn't worse then 90% of the dreck passed off as evening adult programming.

My daughter once mentioned that she wanted to be an artist when she grew up. She then said that she already was an artist. I love seeing the world through her eyes; the eyes of an unapologetic girl who embraces the beauty of the world around her.

I want to tell her to remain free of guilt. I want to let her know that it's ok to cry and that showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. I want her to be able to love freely. I want to tell her that although there will be many folk who will try to label her, pin her down and make her feel in someway wanting that she should just shrug it off and continue to just be. I want her to feel the strength of her grandmothers within her. I want her to never feel threatened by forces beyond her control. I want her never to feel threatened period.

The strength that she shows me each day astounds me. Her insight teaches me. Her love centres me. Her spirit guides me.

My Left Needs a Break (before it breaks)

Just over a week ago I went to class early in order to run through some lock and rubber guard techniques. Got my left calf squeezed pretty tight and by the end of the class I was limping a wee bit. No biggie I thought. Working the techniques at a seminar 2 weeks ago did a number on my right calf but the soreness went away after a couple days. I could feel a bruise forming but thought nothing of it.

Saturday I went to class a bit worse for wear. I had enjoyed a lovely evening with a gf the night before but I indulged in a few too many pints. We were set to call it a night but then this Irish dude started chatting and bought another round. Blame the Irish indeed. I survived the class. Actually, by the time class came around in the afternoon I was no longer feeling ill -- just tired. The kidlings had gymnastics in the morning and I had a short shift at the theatre. Dropped the kids off, rushed to work, came back to pick up the girl, we went for a quiet hot chocolate, went to get the boy and got home for a short nap. My daughter made lunch for us -- one of the best sandwiches I have ever had. Very nice to feel pampered.

Oh this is a bit of a ramble but I want to mention the hot chocolate that my girl and I had. We went to a place called 'Truffle Treasures' and asked for hot chocolate. We were asked what type we would want. Type? There was a ginormous list! Ok. I chose Aztec (with chili spices) and the girl chose Peppermint. Then we were asked if we wanted dark, milk or white chocolate. Ok. The drinks were fantastic but I never realized that hot chocolate had become as diverse (and expensive) as coffees. Thing is, I'll probably never want to go back to the plain old hot chocolate served in styrofoam cups. Sigh.

Class on Saturday went well. Lot's of people and not too much stress. That evening, however, my calf started to swell and turn a garish purple. Sunday came and the calf got bigger. I figured it was time to bite the bullet and have it checked out by a medical pro. Monday morning I called my supervisor and informed him that I was going to go to emerg. He figured it was a good idea. I got the kids ready for school, sent them on their way and got ready to head out myself. I then remembered that there was work on stage that had to be done before a new screen was installed. I called my supervisor and told him I was going into work first to get job done.

Funny. I was climbing up and down the ladder humping lights and my supervisor was chatting to a contractor saying 'she'll finish these lights, the two of us will move the gear around in the booth and then I'll send her to the hospital.' Job dedication? Stubborn pride? Anyway, I got er done and went to emerg. It turned out to be a very pleasant 6 hour stay. I had a good book, they powers that be assured me that I would be done before having to be home to meet the kidlings and time passed in a restful almost serene manner.

Turns out I did not have any clotting (although I'm to check with my GP early next week to make sure all is still well). I had, however, blown a couple blood vessels which made the leg swell and turn a ghastly shade of dark purply green.

I went to class on Tuesday wearing a tensor bandage. I can do the aikido but am staying away from the jiu jitsu for a couple weeks (Dr. says a month and a half for the healing -- we'll see). Class went well until I turned over on my left ankle and hurt the left side of my neck with a bad fall.

So now I have a bruised leg, bruised/sprained ankle, bruised toe and stiff neck all on my left side.

Guess the Christmas break has come at a good time.

Reading (Into) the News

So if Dubai reneges on a $60B debt will the recovering N American markets go to crap again? Perhaps they should have thought twice before building an indoor downhill ski slope in the middle of a fracking desert? The very fact that such affluence appears to breed a contempt for common sense and human decency serves to scramble my temporal lobe. Carleton University is spewing sewage into the Rideau River because of a number of aged/cracked pipes that haven’t all been accounted for. New buildings are being erected but the bare bones nuts and bolts maintenance is being accomplished with gaffe tape and concrete bandages. If the foundation is not strong, when problems arise (inevitable that they will; naïve to believe otherwise), the structure will implode upon itself into nothing. This appears to apply not only to physical structures but to economic, ideological, emotional and spiritual erections as well. After the shit hits the proverbial fan and the knee jerk recriminations, name callings, selfish cries and quixotic head banging’s pass, it is the foundation, or lack thereof, that will remain. Foundation or not, (re)growth is possible. It’s just that with a solid foundation the growth may occur just that little bit faster and be, perhaps, just that little bit stronger because at least there is an actual point of departure and reference.

There I Was, Tied Between Two Coconut Trees

A variation on Snoopy's 'It was a dark and stormy night.' A friend introduced me to this phrase in a letter he once wrote me and we have used it since as an opening conversation ice breaker. Better than 'hello' it pretty summed up how we were feeling--trapped. Yes, we happened to be trapped in paradise but we were trapped all the same. Perhaps I read too much into things (no perhaps about it really as I know that I do read too much into pretty much everything. I am a victim of a liberal arts education after all) but the idea of feeling pinned down and trapped while in paradise is appealing. The inherent contradiction and instability that is evoked by this image calms and soothes my soul. The recognition of the need to break free from convention, however seemingly peaceful/wonderful, is something to be embraced.

I tend to not trust when all is well and going smoothly. That and I get bored. Although I have been called self-destructive (among other things) this is a bit unfair. I require a certain amount of chaos in my life.

A couple years ago I went to a Cuban spa with my mother. The first couple of days were unique and strangely surreal enough to keep me occupied. As time passed, however, a sense of complacency came over me. I relaxed into the routine of daily cardio, 'treatments' and such. The days went like this:

Wake up and dress for breakfast.
Eat breakfast in dining room and order eggs (that's all they had).
Go back to room and change into bathing suit.
Go to 'doctor' for blood pressure check.
Go to 'gym' for cardio
Go outside and stand while someone took a paintbrush and slopped mud taken from the back field all over your body.
Stand in sun til mud dried.
Stand in cold outdoor shower to remove mud.
Jump in very hot salt water pool for 15 minutes or so.
Go to 'rest room' and lie down on a wooden slab and be served tea.
Go to water treatment room. Water treatment consisted of lying in a hot bathtub of water and having a high pressure hose jet water over your body. After the hose one is to stay in tub for 20 minutes.
Go back to rest room
Have massage. I did this only once. Carlo's hands wandered a bit too much :P No quiero.
Go to sauna.
Go back to room and have lunch consisting of chicken and rice or rice and black beans--Moors and Christians.
Afternoon = rest/quiet/relax time.
Dinner.
Bed.

Alright. After one week of this I went to the 'doctor' and was told that I could not participate that day in any spa treatments. My blood pressure was at an all time high. Go figure. With that much mind numbing relaxation I was ready to do harm. I was, in effect, tied between two coconut trees.

I convinced my mom to walk with me to the next village -- 17 km away. We hitchhiked on the back of a truck carrying workers, had a beer in the village and walked back. When we finally got back I jumped straight into the pool. The next day my blood pressure was normal.

Do your worst to me. Just don't bore me. That just might be my end.

Singing REM and I Feel Fine

I talked to my mom on the phone the other day. Always an interesting experience. She will usually tell me about how busy she has been, what her dogs *kids* have been up to and how although so and so or such and such has somehow let her down she has managed to prevail. We all have our coping mechanisms.

This particular conversation led in a different direction. She had been watching a television show on Nostradamus and Edgar Cayce which delved into the upcoming 'end of the world as we know it' posited by the Mayans. Well there is a movie about it. It must be true.

Seems that Cayce would put himself into a hypnotic state and once there would begin to speak. Speak the truth. At first folk would take advantage of him as they asked for lotto numbers and winning horses. Self gain. Cayce didn't like that and so had his wife be the only one to ask the questions. The questions had to be the greater good. Apparently, heads of state and other such important world folk were given the opportunity to ask him questions. His answers were always true. Hmmmm. This process would take a lot out of him but he continued to put himself in this trance up to 7 times per day. Later he died of a stroke but not before relating that the Mayan calendar was right.

The world will shift on its access in 2012 and life as we know it will end. Japan will be gone. The East Coast of Canada will disappear. Rome will fall. Again. My mother continued and mentioned something about Atlantis and a new continent etc. etc. Then she told me that she was sorry if she had worried me. I told her that I wasn't worried. She then went on to say that she was working on a plan to get the whole family together at that time because when the chaos finally erupted she wanted us all to be together because it would be difficult to have contact otherwise. Hmmmm. She was also trying to figure out a way to get my brothers away from the East coast. It was beginning to sound more like she was planning a grand family reunion then preparing for the end of the world. I guess it's difficult to actually plan for the end though eh? Gotta make sure there's enough milk for the coffee.

Ok. 2012 is coming. I agree. Time passes. Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Months. Years. Neatly divided. 2012 is over two years away and already the hysteria is beginning. I fear that it will be a very long couple of years as varying camps discuss the end and how to prevent it and/or survive it. I wonder how long it will take before the canned goods are stripped from the shelves, folk start building survival shelters and basic trades classes get overbooked in local colleges.

I also wonder at people's seeming hyped up joyous? elation at the thought of mass destruction. Or even over 'little' destructions. Joyous is the wrong word but there's a feeling of nervous excitement in the air. I've felt it during this current H1N1 pandemic. People are dying. People are getting sick. Yet there is a perverse almost celebratory energy as folk are talking about it, coughing into their elbows and washing their already washed hands. I don't believe that folk are happy that others are suffering but something is odd. Similar to the feeling I had as a child when watching the parade of people who would follow fire trucks and then gathered and tut tutted as walls burned down and bodies were carried away I also wonder if this same feeling could explain the mentality of people who would gather around the gallows in order to witness executions.

I wonder how this whole 2012 thing will pan out. I feel that the lead up will be far more interesting then the 'event' itself.