Click

It happened last Sunday. It was quick. Almost immediate. I stopped hurting. I don't know if it was something he said. Or did. Or was it me? I just stopped. A switch inside me clicked off. I haven't really trusted this new feeling. This feeling of peace. Of possibility. I saw my therapist. Funny how quickly I've taken ownership this being our second solo session. She said that what I was experiencing was not unheard of. She described it in terms of my having closed a door to my heart. According to her, the worst is now over. That's a blessing. I would not want to revisit these past few weeks. Brutal. Raw. I told her that I felt a bit guilty that my suffering didn't seem to match what I had lost. She explained that I had probably been grieving for quite a while but not really acknowledging my feelings as grief. Interesting. So now I'm moving forward. Getting things done. Trying not to be too impatient. I'm not in any hurry. There's time. My days are full. A routine is becoming established. I'm feeling stronger then I have felt in a long time.
'A' lost two teeth today so I get to meet the tooth fairy. I think I've solved my childcare dilemma. I'm looking forward to getting a bit of canning done on the weekend. I'm thinking of mixing peaches and pears. I'm coming back.