A terrible beauty

Move went well...love the house. Went camping with kids and kept on driving to paradise. My friend's cottage on Mlake...beautiful. Funny, it's not really the camp that makes it so perfect but the drive into the area. We go through S valley and the scenery is gorgeous; Lush fields, quiet farm houses...the area exudes peace. I love it. I wouldn't want to live there. I just love driving through it. This may seem weird but, I don't think the end destination would have the same effect without the lead up view. There may be a life lesson in here somewhere. So, my kids got to play with S's kids. Strange encounters. Kids have a politics that is a strange mix of parental guidance/anxiety and personal quirks. Mix in a bit of pack mentality and ... well, I guess it coulda been worse. Only a few screams and tattles. For the most part they played well together. It was more interesting to watch the parental dynamics at work. We have different parental styles which is to be expected...Hell, our kids are different. Fortunately, we share basic core values so guards could be let down somewhat. Not sure how I feel about the S & B relationship. I wish it were more equal...but, at the same time, I'm not able to know what's going on behind the scenes. S has her body back but is still wounded. It could be the loss of her mom...it could be the situation she is in (feeling a bit caged/trapped)...it could be...a number of things I guess. We are all aging. Enjoying and suffering. Personally, I have always been drawn to the 'terrible beauty.' My mom suggested on a number of occasions that a big chunk of me enjoyed being miserable. Not exactly mom...but close. I like the feeling of sadness welling up inside of me and having it topped off with a child's giggle or a beautiful sunset. A state of being emotionally full. This is what this mini vacation did to me. I highly recommend it.