Hmmm...let me see

As I am going to make the attempt to make this a daily occurence (is it ence or ance? this one always confuses me...makes me second and then third guess myself) I am once again in front of both keyboard and monitor filling this page with whatever pops into my head. Recently, I've been trying to capture moments...first in my mind...second on the page. May seem odd but I need to experience a moment from as many angles, perspectives and senses that I can before I am satisfied that it is:
a) 'real' enough to put on the page;
b) separated enough from the real real to address it without compromising myself thereby leaving me open to an undesired scrutiny;
c) salient to mood--this 'mood' can be mine, what I perceive the outside world to be, my significant 'others' ...

All this to say that I have managed, quite adeptly actually, to put off actual writing for quite a while. So...without further ado...let's get real.

I cried last night. And in the afternoon.
Morning tears went well with my coffee
The Dutch, I hear, use salt in their grounds
Was it a mother who discovered this?
Or a daughter?
New turns old turns new
Cycles flip and fold and stroke and cajole
Teasing us with immediacy pressed hard against an eternal
Sometimes I don't want to keep up
With expectations of self ... of other
And need instead the comfort of release
In tears.


Ok...it's rough. One of my 'others' thinks it depressing. I don't think so. I'm kinda stoked that it came out. I shant delay the inevitable. I'll let it go and see what, if anything, returns.