Dreams

My son asked if we could 'have a talk' the other night.

'Of course. What's up?'

'Well, know how our cat likes to sometimes sleep under the covers with me? You know how he drools?'

Yup. Our cat drools like a Saint Bernard watching a barbecue. He drools big globs of goo any time you are petting him. It's his sign of contentment. Not unlike some dudes in my past but I digress.

'Yup.'

'Well, I woke up and I was all wet.' pause 'Down there.' he pointed.

'Hmmm. You don't think it was the cat do you?'

The boy shook his head.

'And you didn't pee either did you?'

'No. So, what happened mom?'

'Ahhhhhh. Well, remember when you had asked about sex and I told you that seed called semen came out of the man's penis? Well, your body was just going through a check list to make sure it was working properly and from the sounds of it, it's all in working order. What you had is sometimes called having a wet dream.'

The boy paused and absorbed this.

'What does sex feel like mom?'

'Hmmmmm. Well, it might feel different for a man and a woman. For example, I don't have a penis so I wouldn't know how having one would feel. Would you like to talk to your father about this?'

'I tried but he told me that talking about this was inappropriate.'

I held my tongue. Really. But for f&^(k's sake! If a child is wanting to talk they are ready for an answer and nothing about our bodies is f&*^&^king inappropriate!

'Ahhhh. Well, I'm glad you are asking me and I'll do my best to answer. Sex can feel very nice and sometimes it can feel not nice. In order to have it feel nice certain things have to be in place. First, your body needs to be ready.'

'How will I know?'

'Well, you see that your penis is beginning to work on its own right? Your physical body is starting to get ready but your mind really has no control over it right?'

'Right.'

'Well, let's see. Have you ever looked at anyone and thought that it might feel really good to kiss them on the lips?'

'Yuck! No way!'

'Ok, that kinda shows that your mind isn't really ready. One day, you might look at someone and want to kiss them and they might want to kiss you back and when you do, it will feel very nice.'

The boy eyed me with skepticism but said 'ok.'

'Well, you might then want to get closer to this person. You might want to hold their hand, stroke their cheek and well, just touch them. At this point, your penis might say yes (it might rise up and feel different--kinda 'tingly') and your mind might say yes but there still might be a part of you that says no. This is an important part to listen to. If you feel, at any time, that part of you isn't ready then it's safe to say that you aren't ready and that's ok.'

The boy nodded.

'Now I'm going to tell you something very very important. Even if you think you are ready, you need to be sure that your partner is also ready. This means taking your time and communicating with them in order to make sure that they are ready.'

'It wouldn't feel nice if they weren't ready too.'

'Exactly kiddo. As well, I want you to know that if you ever have questions/concerns about any of this you can always feel free to talk to me about it. Ok?'

'Ok. I love you mommy. Ummmmm. What do I do if I have another wet dream?'

'Well, you put your wet jammies/sheets in the hamper, if you feel sticky, wash yourself and that's about it. You don't have to tell me about it kiddo. It's just a part of life.'

The boy smiled and with that I kissed him good night, turned out the light and left him to his dreams.