In Absentia

Halloween is coming. The boy wants to be a transformer. Optimus Prime to be exact. I think the costume will be a success. Our combined imaginations are working in overdrive. A bit of cardboard, a bit of audio packing foam, poster paint, tinfoil and silver face paint should do the trick. The girl wants to be a butterfly. Good thing I have access to a costume cellar. I found some wings left over from a production of Midsummer's. Today we'll pick up some pumpkins.

I remember loving Halloween. I still do. Going out at night and seeing kids everywhere. The night always holds some magic. It's easy to believe that there are spirits joining in the festivities as we race up another strange driveway unsure of who resides on the other side of the door. I especially like trick or treating in this neighbourhood. The houses are beautiful and I love the chance to peek inside.

It's weird this year tho'. Although J never really was involved with our Halloween preparations or with the night itself, he was present. He was there. I'm not sure how his lack of presence will change things. It probably won't ... except for the fact that it's just one more event that he will be completely removed from. In absentia. The longer this separation goes on the more I am realizing how little my life is actually changing. Is this something I should have forseen? Expected? Was J's footprint really only imprinted on sand?