I'm Tired

Nothing profound. Except maybe that I'm profoundly tired? Really. The only thing that is keeping me from heading straight to bed right now is the perverse joy I gain from delayed gratification. And J is working late tonight so I get the entire bed to myself. Joy and Bliss! Today after dropping the kids off at daycare I went to the gym and did a double workout of cardio and weights. I then came home and spring cleaned the upstairs bathroom while doing a couple loads of laundry. I just finished with the toilet when I realized it was time to get dressed and go. My old grad advisor was doing a talk this afternoon and she had called the other day to inform me of it. I actually dressed up for the occasion--short skirt, black tights. Her talk was brilliant. The theme du jour was art vs? aesthetics. Moving away from using the privileged gaze, she discussed the idea of truth in terms of sound--music. Instead of abandoning truth, she argues that a new way of addressing it is required...apart from the truth vs. false dichotomy. The end result is part performance, part treatise, part entreaty, part discourse...I dig it. I do sense a bit of my own work ... I like to think that perhaps, when our brains met, something clicked for both of us. Thoughts like these keep me going as I sweep dust bunnies out from beneath my bed. It was nice to voyage back into the academic world for a bit. I actually had learned minds speak to me as an equal (I love crashing symposiums where I'm not really known by anybody so I'm often treated like a somebody...cuz you never really can tell who I am eh?) It also helps when you are greated warmly by one of the speakers/chair of the department. I've never really understood heirarchy. I mean, I get that it's necessary. I work in theatre. When the relationship between production staff and directors and stage managers becomes vague, all hell can break loose. Yet, these heirarchical distinctions only really apply when there is a show. After the show is over, the titles don't really mean much. The titles, as far as I can see it, are there to allow for the work to get done in a more efficient/smooth manner. Granted, I come at this as someone with a house gig. I don't have to work the room to ensure employment. Mind, I've never really felt the need to suck up for a job or opportunity even when I was basically unemployed (although I have sucked up for the pure unadulterated fun of it!). Is this privilege or luck? Probably a bit of both. But, enough of this. My duvet awaits!