I wonder sometimes at the differences between the 'intellectual' and the 'intellectual.' Each are as they are named but are different. One seems hell bent on creating an insular space which has as its purpose to protect a status quo. As if any challenges made were challenges of a personal nature...to be challenged is to have the self challenged...leading, ultimately, to a destruction of self. Scary.
There was nothing wrong with a bit of fantasy play though was there? Her heart began to beat just a little bit faster. She was ready. She had to say his name out loud. She could not hold it in any longer. Her partner stood in front of her. Had they been talking? Yes. About what? Damn...he's looking at her, waiting for her to respond. Does he notice?
The other seems to relish teasing open cracks and fissures...peeling layers...picking at scabs...looking under rocks...putting their hands in places where their mothers told them not to. Never satistfied with what is there...needing to poke and hunt a bit further. Looking in shadows. Seeing what exists in between. In a constant state of challenge, the space they inhabit changes form...grows and shrinks...just as they do themselves.
'So I saw David this morning...at Second Cup.' There. She said it. The name. Wasn't it glorious? She felt a rush of blood rise to her cheeks. Her stomach was fluttering. He didn't seem to notice. She got away with it. Could she dare say it again without raising any suspicion? 'David was on his way to an appointment.' That was safe...people have appointments...get appointed to this and that all the time. She felt that she was going to explode.
Problems seem to arise when no differences are made between intellectuals. Put them all into the same boat and it will sink for sure. The ivory tower is off-white. Do forced marriages ever work? Not, I think, unless there is an understanding from both sides that what is lacking must be obtained...with explicit or implicit consent. Consenting adults. Working to analyze, restructure, study, examine, defend, offend, challenge, create, improve, reprove, polish , ... , ... , ... , ...
And now? The name still holds a certain amount of power. Although it no longer has such a fierce impact upon her. At times, she will whisper the name inside her head and smile at how it continues to echo inside of her. It's all academic really.
Female Score: 406Male Score: 813
The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!
3 comments:
what the f?
Are you being a bad girl? If so, would you please spell it out for me.
Now this is the n I know and love. Gorgeous piece of writing, gfriend. I think maybe there is another form of intellectual that exists outside of that binary - one that has fewer boundaries and who makes larger leaps and takes greater chances. And you're it.
I'm torn between on the one hand wanting to applaud your gorgeous crafting here and on the other being afraid that you'll take it as a curtain call. This was the prologue, yes? We will get more scenes, sotto voce soliloquys, choruses and (after a brief intermezzo)another act--right?
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