Portrait of a Girl

My daughter is special. She speaks in terms of hearts and spirits and love. She is intelligent, insightful and wise beyond her years. She is a girl who embraces being a girl. I want her to hold on to that. When I was her age I thought girls were pretty useless. I liked hanging with boys. I understood boys. Girls made no sense to me. When playing games on the school ground -- boys against the girls -- I always played for the boys team. My daughter's love of pink, fashion, teeny bopper television is not part of my own experience but, through her, I am coming to understand not only her but myself.


The other day we watched an episode of 'The Jonas Brothers.' She really wanted to watch it and said she loved it. I am not a fan of the Disney channel or the tweeny pop aesthetic that proliferates its airwaves. Everyone is different though and I love the chance to snuggle with her on the couch. I asked her what it was about the show that she liked. She laughed and was embarrassed. She's young. I wondered if she was already getting caught up in 'crush' land and teen idol worship. (Can't be! I thought. Not yet please? She's not quite 8 years old.) I asked her if she thought the boys were cute. Her answer was immediate and honest. 'No!' She paused and explained. 'I like the colours mommy.' I continued watching. The colours used are bright and vibrant. Each scene has a different palette. It's actually quite cool to watch the show in terms of colour. She pointed out different shades at work and how the character's outfits always seemed to work with the background walls. 'The acting is pretty good too mommy.' Hmmmm. I disagreed with her on that point but noted that it wasn't worse then 90% of the dreck passed off as evening adult programming.

My daughter once mentioned that she wanted to be an artist when she grew up. She then said that she already was an artist. I love seeing the world through her eyes; the eyes of an unapologetic girl who embraces the beauty of the world around her.

I want to tell her to remain free of guilt. I want to let her know that it's ok to cry and that showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. I want her to be able to love freely. I want to tell her that although there will be many folk who will try to label her, pin her down and make her feel in someway wanting that she should just shrug it off and continue to just be. I want her to feel the strength of her grandmothers within her. I want her to never feel threatened by forces beyond her control. I want her never to feel threatened period.

The strength that she shows me each day astounds me. Her insight teaches me. Her love centres me. Her spirit guides me.