Pumpkin is carved. Seeds are roasting in the oven. Costumes are ready. The boy is getting over the flu. Hopefully he'll be ok to trick or treat tomorrow night. I'm just happy that he's feeling better. Happy is not quite the right word to describe the feeling. Overwhelmingly relieved? It has been a tough go. Not sure what type of flu nor do I really care. All that matters is that he's on the mend. Hopefully the girl will not get this one. This week I've been home and at work and at home and at work. Trying to care for my wee one but not letting other stuff slide. Selfish? Perhaps. The work keeps my worry for him at bay. Holding him puts the work worries into perspective. I'm not good at staying home. I'm not good at staying still. I'm most content when I'm juggling.
My voice is stronger. My singing voice. I've been singing more. Different styles. I'm being nudged to do something more. We'll see. I would want to do it right. Thoughtfully yet impulsively. Work and play. It has be the right time and place. I've been asked to record some stuff on my own and pass it along. The first step is sometimes the hardest. Leap of faith.
My inner dork is resurfacing as well. I did a routine reminiscent of vaudeville for the boy. He joined in by the end. So much fun. Joy. Finally feeling safe enough to be myself. Keeping the critical voices in abeyance--voices from inside and outside of my being. Damn but I can be a flake sometimes.
It's been a tough go as of late. I'm seeing the light though. I'm moving forward. I have no idea where I'll end up but I'm curious enough to keep going.
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