Picking Berries

Home again. Good trip. Met a fox as I was walking to the toilets at 3am--I'm not a fan of tenting when my bladder is weak. It backed up and let me pass. Licked itself as I walked by. Somewhat telling in an I'm not sure how way. So J and I watched 'Crash' last night. Not the Canadian sex flick but this year's esteemed Oscar winner. Good film. Loved it. Dragged a wee bit at the end as story lines were tied up in neat bows but overall, I thought it quite powerful. Not only as a discussion of race but of gender as well. Although not the primary focus of the film, I found it very interesting to see how the roles held by women in this film illustrated how intolerance affects them in manners unique to them. Assumptions and stereotypes abounded in this film and it did a good job of illustrating just how complicated issues surrounding individual power dynamics are. It was also disturbing in that the film effectively held up a mirror to the viewers. We are all complicent to some extent. Shamefully, I can look back only to last week. Driving home, I was on the look out for blueberries being sold by the road. I love wild blueberries. I began to get impatient with J. He kept driving by various road side stands seemingly oblivious. When I mentioned it, he stopped at the very next car he saw. I got out of the car and noticed an east Indian gentleman with 2 baskets for sale. I was grumpy at J for stopping at the very next car...not seeming to care where we stopped...to me, finding the right blueberry stand is an art. But, that's not really an excuse for me not buying this man's berries. I made an immediate assumption based on no fact that this man didn't pick them fresh himself....that he didn't need the money...that he wasn't a part of the 'blueberry culture.' The best berries are picked in the morning. I also like to buy berries from people who, I feel, do this every year to supplement their incomes. This man wasn't dressed for picking. He didn't 'look the part.' After I thought all this, I noticed that his berries didn't look all that good anyway. I told him no, got in the car and grumped to J to keep driving. My grumpiness compounded by my not wanting to face up to my own behaviour. I hadn't liked the look of this man's berries but, I felt that I would have said no to these berries regardless. We ended up getting berries at the next stop (lucky for us cuz it was the last stand on the highway). I'd like to say that the berries were bitter sweet but, they were amazing. As blueberries should be. Fresh picked and perfect. I feel that I got the right berries. I just don't like the fact that I brought up other issues into not choosing the first berries...when all I had to think was 'no, these berries don't look good enough.' Sometimes looking in the mirror is a difficult thing to do.